Ssoul mates seems to be a concept that we are getting away from as a society.  You do not need anyone else to complete you, you are already complete in yourself.  You are already whole.

And I think that is true.  I am whole.

But.  There is something very alluring about the idea that there is someone who can fill in your weak points and make you better, someone who is so connected to you that they understand you completely.  You are home where they are.  You are loved unconditionally because they get you.  They see you as clearly and they do not look away.

Looking at the couples around me, I don’t see a great deal of evidence that soul mates exist.  I wonder if the point is to find someone you can live with and have a decent life with, someone you can get along with.  The good enough.  So many marriages seem to be – I don’t know how to express it.  People live together, get along well enough, but mostly it is two people living their own lives.  Their point of connection seems to be their children or their pets or just the comfort of knowing that they are not alone.   That they have fulfilled the expectation of getting a spouse and now they can just do what they want.

I listen to people complain about their spouses and I wonder what the point is.  I realize a certain amount of it is that it is nice to grouse to someone who is pretty good at keeping their mouth shut, as I am, everyone needs that pressure release, I guess.  (Though, I never complain about my mother, who I live with and do a lot of things with?  And it’s not because she’s my mother, I just get along with her really well.  We are very similar as people and pretty easy going.)

I know what I want…I want someone I can be completely comfortable with, that can be loved and will love me without condition.  Someone who will be honest with me but kind about it, someone I can sit on the couch with and be quiet with and read next to and be at peace when they are around me.  I want companionship and love and a feeling of connection, a feeling that we are on the same wave length about things.  I wonder if you can find someone that you have that level of mutual understanding with, or if, in the end, we just make do with what we can find?  We find someone and we think, yes, this is about as good as it gets.  Let’s just do our best with this because this is enough.

I hope not.  I hope there are soul mates.  I hope real relationships are more than that.

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