Wwoot. Getting this in under the wire. I wrote it partly over lunch, which was basically shoving oatmeal in my mouth and hoping to have a few minutes to myself…the beginning of this semester has been a madhouse.

Tonight I went and worked on some illumination. Might get started on that again…I love the painting aspect, once you’ve gotten the design down it’s like a medieval coloring book.

Currently I am scribbling in a plastic covered notebook with pale pink and purple stripes on the back, and circles on the front. Not normally my pattern, but I like the heavy plastic front and back covers. They travel well, I was using a mini-legal pad but the top page always gets beaten up and torn.

Mostly I don’t write much of worth in note pads. They are for ideas, things I need to do…currently I am trying to straighten out the knots in The Chocolatier’s Ghost.

I have always loved the idea of note pads. I enjoy journaling, and I used to be so much better at it. Some of it is a feeling that I have nothing to contribute, nothing that people can look at and go, “OK, someone understands something I have felt, wonderful.” Some of it was that too many people knew me in real life…when I started with the SCA I picked up a ton of fellow Live Journal friends who I would see at events. Concerned comments from people you don’t actually see are fulfilling and easy to be handled, those from people who will meet your eyes…even though I never tried to be a drama queen, I often used my journal to speak of things and try and figure out things in my life and soul. So I felt GUILTY. Like I should keep myself together more.

Which, I am sure would make my LJ friends feel badly. I don’t mean to…they are wonderful people. I feel so lucky to have them in my life.

So, I have a harder time writing. Maybe it’s also that I managed to figure the stuff out that bothered me and I don’t need to think through my fingers so much. And that might mean that I am in a better place.

But, since I am going to try and keep up with a monthly journal for the whole rest of this year…maybe I’ll get into the habit and find some treasures that I can share and find my journal voice again.

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